Liquid Courage
by ViLaVi
Summary: In which there is booze and Kiba trolls everyone. Pre-Shippuden.


**Based slightly on that one awesome scene in 'The Sandlot.'**

**Kiba P.O.V.**

"And after I defeat you in this match, I shall have to win two more before I am worthy enough to ask Sakura on a date! I will not dare bask in her presence until I have become a greater ninja! She will-"

"Shut up, already!" I finally bit out. Lee had been interrupting our otherwise productive training session with his proclamations for a little over an hour now. "You could beat me, the Hokage, and an entire legion of sound-nin and she'd STILL turn you down. So drop it, you're giving Akamaru and me a headache!"

Tuning him out was NOT working. When Rock Lee had shown up at the training grounds just as desperate as I was for an opponent, it had seemed like good luck. Most of the rookie nine were on other missions, and a chance to fight someone as tough and unfamiliar to me as Lee had been an exciting challenge.

_If part of his technique is to talk me to death, it's working. Why does he think I care about his puppy dog crush anyways? I'm all for teasing the hopeless lunatic, but this got boring a long time ago. _

I smiled suddenly with inspiration. Maybe I could wring a little more enjoyment out of this 'Handsome Devil." The wheels in my head started spinning into overdrive, and my smile widened as a coherent plan emerged.

_I've found my good deed for the day. Help Lee score a little with Sakura. And mess with Team 7 while I'm at it._

I snapped out of my thoughts to catch the end of Lee's response to me "- ridicule me all you want, I am not ashamed of my youth!"

"You're right," I interjected quickly, hoping to catch him off guard. "Maybe you just need a new approach is all I'm saying." I said with a knowing smile.

The determined look on his face melted away and he shifted out of his fighting stance. "What do you mean?"

I noted the overpowering curiosity on his features, which barely hid his underlying desperation. I paused a moment, suddenly feeling a little guilty. I easily shook it off the next moment.

_Heh, why should I feel bad, all in all I'll be doing the poor guy a favor. _

"It just seems like the 'nice guy' act isn't really getting you anywhere. From what I understand, girls are into the smug bad boy sort of thing. Especially Sakura. Just look at the way she fawns over Uchiha." I said casually.

Lee's eyes narrowed at the mention of Sasuke. "Why would you want to help me? You and I are not what you would call close friends."

I snorted. "Look, I just wanna spar without hearing about your girl problems. If this is what it takes, then whatever." I turned away. "Or, if you'd rather not, I'll just go home anyways. These last few hours were good enough for my daily exercise. C'mon Akamaru."

I walked away, fully confident that he would take the bait.

"Wait!" Lee was suddenly alongside me. "If we are done training then please take this time to tell me more. With how many times I have been rejected, I will try almost anything to win Sakura's heart." Fire blazed in his eyes as Akamaru and I shrunk away.

_This guy is some kinda fruit loop. This is going to be great!_

I shrugged, trying my best to seem only politely interested. "It must suck, you trying so hard and her draping herself all over the number one rookie. I think to get to her, you're gonna have to go through Sasuke."

"Do you mean to fight him?" Lee asked, somehow appearing even more intense. "As much joy as that might bring me, I hardly think Sakura will want to be treated as some sort of trophy for beating him."

"Heh, so don't even mention it to her. You oughta walk right up to Sasuke and demand a fight. Pretend you don't even see Sakura. Chicks like it when you play hard to get, ya know?" Akamaru barked in agreement.

The look in his eyes prompted me to continue. _I could probably convince him to fight Naruto and Kakashi while I'm at it. He's got it bad for her. _

I continued. "Then, when you win, you walk right up to her and demand a date." I coughed at the end of my sentence, trying to smother a laugh.

Lee blanched visibly. "With all due respect, Kiba, I do not think you know Sakura that well. She would kill me if I spoke to her in such a way! Besides, I do not think I have the ability to be so forward with her, knowing she is likely to reject me yet again." He looked decidedly glum all of a sudden.

"Come on, Fuzzy-Brows. You think she'd turn down Uchiha if he asked her like that? No way. Once you beat him, you'll be the better man and you'll earn that kinda treatment." I insisted.

"I do not know..." he trailed. "It seems this plan has just as much chance of getting me in big trouble with Sakura as getting me a date with her."

I smiled inwardly. _Gotcha_. "Seems like all you need is a little liquid courage."

I held my breath in the ensuing silence. I was counting on Lee's naivete here, hoping he wouldn't make the connection. I had heard of Lee's little adventure with his sensei's sake before. Had seen the aftermath myself. It was hard to picture anything funnier than a drunken Lee knocking Sasuke for a loop and putting the moves on Sakura.

Finally, "Liquid courage? How does it work? Where can I find some?"

_SCORE! _"It just so happens that the hospital keeps a supply of it. Per Tsunade-sama's request, actually. And whaddaya know, we're just a few short blocks away."

"YOSH! We are wasting time, Kiba!" Lee cried, racing towards our destination.

**Lee P.O.V.**

"So how are you planning on getting some from them, loverboy?" Kiba huffed, having finally caught up with me.

I hate having to lie. It is against my ninja way and Gai-sensei taught me better than that. But matters of the heart must take precedence here. _I am sorry, sensei. After this I will do 1,000 squats and 2,000 push ups to make amends! I am doing it for love!_

"Do not worry, I have a plan. You wait out here, Kiba." I said firmly, my resolve deepening with every passing second.

_Kiba is right._ I thought to myself as I entered the building. _I need a new approach. I will always be rejected as long as the battle between Sasuke and I is unfinished. Even if she does say no after all this, I will have still proven that I am the better ninja! I have never heard of this liquid courage before, but it sounds like it could be similar to food pills. _

I was still fairly sick with worry. Part of me was fully convinced that there was nothing on earth that could change Sakura's feelings about me. My mind went back to that day in the Chunin exams, when I failed to catch the leaves. In the end it was in Sakura's best interest that I failed, since abandoning that task is what led me to saving her in the nick of time. To my mind, she is out of my reach by a single leaf.

_If I have to spend the rest of my life making up for the one fallen leaf, so be it. Sakura, no matter how hopeless, I will never stop trying to close the distance between us. Even if it means following Kiba's risky advice._

"Can I help you, sir?" The receptionist asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

Kiba had said that it was on Tsunade-sama's orders they stored liquid courage here, so I would use that. "Yes, the Hokage has asked me to collect a bottle of liquid courage for her office area. She would like to have some of it on standby in the event of an emergency." I explained politely.

The receptionist sighed and rolled her eyes. "Just one minute, then." she said as she got up and walked to back office.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Judging by her reaction, it seems like I had made a fairly common request. I counted my lucky stars that I had been met with such little resistance and added some laps to my later punishment to make up for it.

"Here we are," the receptionist plunked a tall bottle on the counter. "_Liquid courage."_ she sneered.

"Thank you very much for your help!" I said, doing my good guy pose for extra measure.

Back outside the hospital, Kiba regarded me with surprise. "You actually got it? And fast too! Not bad, Fuzzy-Brows."

"Now to Team seven's training ground!" I exclaimed, holding the bottle high above my head.

_Here I come, Sakura my love! _

**Kiba P.O.V.**

"SASHKE UCHIHA! I DEMAND A MATCSH WITH YOUSH!" Lee bellowed.

I snickered uncontrollably from my spot in the trees, trying to keep quiet as Lee stumbled along the bridge railing closer to where Team 7 was grouped together. Things were already going better than I could have possibly imagined.

"Lee...what's going on with you? Are you..drunk?" Sakura asked uncertainly, taking a step towards him.

"Hn. Beat it, loser." Sasuke added, turning disdainfully away.

"HMMMM...WASH YOU-*hiccup* TALKIN TO MEE?"

Lee charged forward, faster than I'd seen him move all afternoon, narrowly missing Sasuke as the younger boy moved to the left. Sasuke countered with a few kunai, but seemed to miss Lee by miles. In the next second, Lee was directly in front of Sasuke, sending a jolting blow into his stomach. Sasuke slid back, visibly outraged.

"What the heck are you doing, Fuzzy-Brows?!" Naruto intervened, grabbing hold of Lee's arm in his moment of stillness. "You're acting weird! And-" That sentence was ended with a sweeping kick, knocking the blond ninja's feet out from under him and landing him on his stomach.

"ISH THAT ALL YOU GOT?!" Lee drunken slur becoming more and more obvious.

Sasuke made another run at Lee, only to have Naruto's still supine form kicked towards him, momentarily entangling the two of them.

_Heh, so this is the formidable drunken fist. Awesome._

Sakura tried to stand in between, a furious expression on her face. "What do you think you're DOING? Lee, I swear to god, don't make me hurt you!"

"SHTAY OUT OF MY WAYE! I'M GONNA PROVE MYSHELF ONSH AND FOR ALL!" Lee yelled, leaping over her to get at her comrades.

"That's it!" Sasuke growled, loudly enough for me to hear it. "Sakura, Naruto, get out of the way!."

With that, Sasuke began charging across the bridge to meet Lee head on, a chidori forming in his right hand.

_Uh-oh, this is getting out of hand._

"Teme! You can't-" a large boom interrupted him as the two shinobi met in the middle of the bridge.

**Sakura P.O.V.**

The dust began to clear, revealing a panting Sasuke and a notably absent Lee. A huge hole had been made on the bridge where the two had collided.

"Sasuke! What's wrong with you?! Are you trying to get someone killed? What happened to Fuzzy Brows?!" Naruto was yelling even louder than Lee had been.

"Shut up, Dobe," Sasuke huffed. "I didn't hit him."

"What? Then where is he?" Naruto asked, suddenly scanning the rushing water below.

I leaned anxiously over the railing. I didn't know what had gotten into him, but antagonizing Sasuke that way? Lee was usually the epitome of politeness. To a fault, even. I knew he wanted to test himself against as many strong opponents as possible since being beaten by Gaara, but this was just so...out of character. As hard as it was to believe that Lee could be drunk, the red cheeks, slurred voice, and boisterous attitude pointed to nothing else.

_Lee...why would you come here looking for a fight like that? You're still recovering from Tsunade-sensei's operation. Oh, please be okay!_

"There!" I had caught a glimpse of forest green peeking out of the water downstream.

As the three of us raced over the water towards the scene, Kiba darted out ahead of us, reaching Lee and yanking him out of the water by his arm.

"Kiba? What are you doing here?" This was getting more confusing by the minute.

"Don't worry about me right now!" he retorted sharply. "You gonna help him?" He asked, pulling Lee onto the shore. "You must be out of your mind, Uchiha." he bit out.

"Tch. I didn't hit him. He's fine." Sasuke monotoned. I could tell he was still seething about the encounter.

I darted over to where Lee was laying. _No marks from the chidori, thank goodness, but...he's not breathing!_

Damn it! I quickly pulled him onto some more even ground and tilted his head back. _Here goes, please work!_

"Ew! Sakura-chan! Why are you gonna kiss him?!" Naruto growled in my ear.

"Idiot! I'm resuscitating him! Now don't distract me!."

After two rounds of breaths and compressions I was really starting to get hysterical.

I finished my third set of compressions and went in for another breath. _Oh, please, please, please, Lee! _

As I planted my lips on his again Lee abruptly came to life, wrapping one of his bandaged hands around my waist while the other pressed firmly into the back of my head. He pulled me further down while he leaned upward into what was now, undeniably, a kiss.

Momentarily shocked into stillness by the feeling of someone else's tongue in my mouth, I let out a stifled yelp as a pair of strong hands pulled me out of Lee's grasp.

"LEE! YOU PERVERT!" I screeched, somehow unable to articulate a coherent threat.

"BUSHY BROW! I'LL PULVERIZE YOU!." Naruto hollered, still holding onto me.

Sasuke grabbed Lee by his collar and hoisted him up to eye level, barely contained rage on his face. "You must have a death wish or something." He managed through gritted teeth.

I was suddenly aware of hysterical laughter to the left of me.

"Hahaha! Oh, god, this is - haha- so much better than what I thought it was gonna be! Hahahahahaha! Lee, buddy, you and I gotta hang out more often!" Kiba spoke through uncontrollable bursts of laughter.

Gritting my teeth furiously, I pulled out of Naruto's grasp and turned my attention back to Lee.

_Wha-? You gotta be kidding me! _He was completely asleep in Sasuke's grip, cheeks still red and with a wide smile on his face.

_Lee! Why you sneaky little..._

I sighed. It was kinda hard to be so mad at Lee when he looked so simultaneously happy and vulnerable.

"Just put him down, Sasuke-kun," I mumbled. "It doesn't look like he'll wake up anytime soon."

Sasuke shot me a confused glance, before turning a fierce gaze back to the unconscious shinobi. He unceremoniously dropped Lee onto the ground before grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me away from the scene.

"Come on, Dobe," he called back to Naruto. "Let's ditch these losers."

I looked back to see Kiba supporting Lee's unconscious form and moving in the opposite direction, still visibly shaking with laughter.

Honestly, as much as I wanted to kill Lee right then, I couldn't help but blush. Awkward and unexpected as his little move was, it was surprisingly passionate.

_Honestly, I've never been kissed by anyone like that before._ I thought, my blush deepening and a tiny smile appearing on my lips.

And to give him some credit, I never in a million years would have thought he'd have the guts to steal a kiss.

**Lee POV**

A dousing of ice cold water brought me back into the world. I slowly opened my eyes, and instantly closed them again as I was hit with a monstrous headache.

_It feels like that time when I...Oh no, you mean THAT'S what that stuff was? _

"Ugh...," I grumbled, catching a blurry image of someone above me, "Kiba? What happened?" I asked, realizing that my last clear memory was leaving the hospital, elixir in tow. I blearily opened my eyes again, and saw from the position of the sun that at least a few hours had passed.

"Hehehehehe, you mean you don't remember?" Kiba asked, barely contained amusement in his voice. "Come on, think harder. Trust me, you _want _those memories."

_My head is killing me, but I have to focus...focus..._

'_Now's the time' I thought excitedly as Sakura moved her mouth over mine. Without warning I pulled her flush against me, deepening the kiss as she mewled in alarm. After a few incredible seconds, I glimpsed a flash of orange through my half closed eyes as Naruto roughly yanked Sakura out of my grasp. _

_Disappointment washed through me 'That was over way too soon. Sakura, I know you're going to be furious with me, but it was worth it. And... I know this is crazy, but from the look in your eyes, I swear you felt something too.'_

_With that, blackness took me._

"Oh no!" I sat up abruptly and instantly regretted it. "She is never going to forgive me for this! What I did, that was sneaky and low and-"

"And kinda cool." Kiba interjected. "Didn't I say I was gonna help you out in the girl department, Lee? Plus, you landed some good hits on Sasuke. All in all, a successful day." He was chuckling again, obviously having satisfied his own goals in getting me drunk and sending me after Team 7.

_I'll get back at you another day, Kiba. And when I do, there will be no mercy, as I will be avenging not only my own dignity, but Sakura's as well._

I stood up, licking my lips and tasting Sakura on them. Exhilaration and a hint of pride swept through me.

_Okay. There will be SOME mercy._

**I will likely be coming back to do some revising on this one. The idea came to me pretty quickly and I was fairly eager to put out my first story in a LONG time. So, my apologies if it's rushed and imperfect.**

**Please, let me know what you think!s**


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